In the most basic words, climate change is the warming of the Earth due to the careless actions of the people living on it. The rays from the sun are entering earths’ most vulnerable part, the atmosphere, and some get absorbed and others escape. Infrared rays are getting caught between the atmosphere because greenhouse gases are keeping them in, and making the atmosphere too thick for anything to escape. What is causing these rays to stay trapped are the great amounts of CO2 being created. As Al Gore stated in his film, An Inconvenient Truth when the evidence and details of climate change came to the government, they should have been startled by the amount of change in the environment, but they were capable of just sitting there, doing nothing. The biggest contributor to global warming is the U.S. Alone, the U.S. covers the pollution of more than at least 3 countries put together.
The biggest changes are being seen in the Arctic. Where as Elizabeth Kolbert reported for the New Yorker, in the article The Climate of Man, the biggest glacier’s there are beginning to crack and form water pools on their surfaces. This occured because the North pole of the earth is used as a mirror, the rays come in and are reflected back off, but because the Arctic the shrinking in size, the rays are hitting the open ocean and heating up the sea temperatures. In Alaska, the permafrost is starting to melt. The reason behind this is that because the temperatures are rising, spring is coming quicker than usual, and winter is coming later than usual. .The trees and grasses growing in these regions don’t fully decompose, so when the new plants come in, they grow off the old ones. The risk of the rising temperatures is that organic material that has been frozen for millions of years will break down, releasing carbon dioxide or methane. All of this contributes to the devastating consequences spreading across the world. For example, In the Himalayas, more than 40% of the population in that area gets their drinking water from the melting ice, and the ice is beginning to disappear. The ice is beginning to disappear because the temperatures are getting out of control, and becoming to warm for there to be ice. With all theses changes in the environment and climate, there comes many other changes as well; a change in politics, culture, habits, and many other aspects of an individual’s life also come into factor.
-Kolbert, Elizabeth. "The Climate of Man" The New Yorker Apr 25, 2005.
-The Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore. Paramount Vantage. 2006
1) No because you split up the amount of information you have and the amount of facts you use. You mix them together, resulting in a half-informative and half-fact blog.
ReplyDelete2) My first concern was that the blog paragraph was too long. Split them up so it is easier to read and for the reader to understand.
My second concern is that you have a lot of run on sentences that could either be shortened down or divided into completely new sentences all together.
3) I liked the way you referenced Al Gore's film a lot. It's a good spot that helps the blog more.
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ReplyDelete1. Overall,you had a lot of great detail. You were half and half when it came to explaining the science behind climate change.
ReplyDelete2. I was a little concerned about the way you wrote your paragraphs. It all looked like one big giant paragraph that could've been broken down into several paragraphs. try to use some of the notes that we took in class when you're writng your blogs.
3. My favorite part of your writintg piece was the very last sentence. It was an exciting way to end your piece, and it tied together your ideas.
If you ever need help with anything, I will find time to help you out.
Hi, I just want to point out that the information you used hit the ball park on the scientific explanation on why climate change and global warming was occurring. My two concerns are that you do not elaborate on factual evidence at least in a scientific perspective. Some of your sentences were wordy and kind of unclear. My suggestion is to read what you have written out loud and see if what you wrote has fully addressed the task at hand. Otherwise it implied who your audience is.
ReplyDeleteHey Camila,
ReplyDeleteI think that, on the terms of you meeting the assignment requirements, you did a pretty good job, but there were still issues. You need to work on citing directly from the articles and the movie to prove your great ideas. Also you have a weird way of phrasing some of your ideas. For example, when you talked about what the government did about the global warming crisis "...They should have been startled by the amount of change in the environment, but they were capable of just sitting there, doing nothing". I see what you wanted to say, but the way you phrased it made the meaning, at first, ambiguous. All in all you did a great job with stating facts, like when you talked about the permafrost situation, from the articles, which is what made your argument pretty solid without the scientific fact to back it up.
Good Luck on your essay,
Omari Matthew
Howdy Camila! You highlight some of the causes and scientific reasoning for global warming, however; you do not build upon these ideas enough scientifically. You focus on facts that aren't always scientific.
ReplyDeleteOne of my concerns is that you begin to talk about an aspect of global warming, and then you switch gears quickly and abandon the first point. You should build upon things like permafrost and the arctic in a more scientific manner.
My other concern is that you occassionally phrase your sentences in a wordy manner. Some of your sentences would be more powerful and clear if you deleted certain words. For example, the very beginning could've been phrased:
"In the most basic words, global warming is the warming of the Earth due to the careless actions of the people living on it."
I like the variations of your sentence lengths. This makes your blog really unique because of the fact that not every one of your sentences are lengthy. You also phrase a few scientific details really well. The way you explain the idea of the permafrost is really well put. You should try to state other ideas in this same prospective.
1) You produced good work but it was of topic at times making your summary not what the assignment was asking for.
ReplyDelete2) A concern that I had was that you combined all ideas causing some ideas to contradict and not be able to flow making some sentences awkward.
Another concern was that their were some minor mistakes that really slowed down your ideas and your writing making it difficult to understand your topics.
3) What you really did well was that your argument was clear and your had many ideas and facts to back them up. Also your citations were very clear making the reader know where your information came from.
Yes, I believe that Camila that you actually completed the assignment to success. However, I do feel that her paper (blog) was border line.Based on the fact that she had some scientific facts that she did not elaborate on. Overall, Camila your paper was well thought out and you related the information as if you are writing for someone who does not understand science very well.
ReplyDeleteCamila, the only concern that I have with your paper is the actualproblem of you not elaborating on the issue of talking about human actions towards global warming/climate change. You stated in your paper “In the most basic words, the way climate change or global warming can be explained is like this: the planet is becoming warmer and warmer because of careless actions taken by the people living on it.” Therfore, you should have oplaced more facts to support your opinion.
Overall, the most enjoyable part about your paper was the fact that you had clear and precise information. You gave readers such as myself knowledge towards global warming, that was uncertain.
Devin Dixon
In my opinion, I believe that you did summarize the scientific of global warming and climate change. One concern that I have in mind for you is to explain a little more on topics that you talk about briefly. Also, try to divide your main topics into paragraph form. It was a little confusing reading different topic on one paragraph. One part that I was really impress from your writing is when you stated how the U.S was covered the pollution than three other countries put together from Al Gore’s film.
ReplyDelete1) I think that you had some scientific information in your piece however, there were some ideas you wrote about that you could be backed up with more scientific explanation rather than general explanations.
ReplyDelete2) My 1st concern:
With is sentence, "The Inconvenient Truth when the evidence....but they were capable of just sitting there, doing nothing." what exactly were you saying in the second part of the sentence. Are you saying that the government has the power to change global warming but they are not doing anything about it?
My 2nd concern:
I think you have great ideas presented that you can add more scientific explanations to. For example, you can expand on the Arctic idea. Also when adding details I think you can split up your ideas into different paragraphs the way you see fit.
3) Over all I think you presented some pretty good ideas and have written good straight forward sentences. The only missing element is the scientific details, in which you can flow together with paragraphs that present each of the ideas you have already to stand alone as well as tie your overall essay connection to global warming.
I also liked the way you cited the two sources in which you based your essay on.
You can do it!!
Luisa Thompson
1) You were half and half on your on scientific explanation. All you have to do is elaborate on some non-scientific sentences and you should be fine on that part.
ReplyDelete2)
a.)I like the beginning of your essay,however, I think it can be shortened down to less words so that it is more concise.
b.)Good citation in this sentence "As Al Gore stated..." the comma should go after "when".
3)I like that you use numerical facts near the end, I think you should incorporate numbers into your scientific explanation.